The Douche Bag Jar
by thecanadian13
Summary: Another one shot extension. This time with the douche bag jar. Jess goes out and buys more jars which upsets Nick.


The Douche bag jar

**Another extension. This time with the douche bag jar. Jess goes out and buys more jars which upsets Nick.**

"Waite!" Jess said interrupting the guys' movie again as they groaned in frustration, "why doesn't Ron, Hermione and Harry just apparate away when they are being chased by the snatchers?"

"It's just not how the story goes Jess." Nick complained turning to her.

"Well they wouldn't of lost the sword and Dobby wouldn't of died if they didn't get caught." Jess replied spoiling the movie for the other three who hadn't seen _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 _yet.

"Come on Jess, really?" Nick said as he returned his focus back to the movie.

Less than five minutes later, Schmidt returned from his long excused absence wearing a heavy leather jacket.

"What are you doing!" Nick complained to Schmidt yet again as Winston sat on the other side staring at the three of them and thinking of what idiots they could be sometimes.

"It's not cold in here at all! Why are you wearing that?"

"It's authentic..."

Schmidt was cut off as Nick pointed across the room to the slightly abandoned douche bag jar that was only half full.

"Really?" Schmidt retorted after it seemed like the idea of the jar had been dropped.

"Douche bag jar... now!" Nick said not even realizing at this point that the movie was still going on.

"Fine." Schmidt groveled pushing past the couch and putting lose change from his pocket in it.

"The jacket." Nick repeated forcing Schmidt to take off the expensive coat.

The next morning while making breakfast which consisted of just a piece of toast and a slice of pizza from the night before, Nick saw Jess come in and acknowledged her with a head nod.

"Hey Nick." Jess said with a slight grin on her face.

Nick considered asking why but the thought forever retreated into the dark depths of his mind when he considered the various and somewhat frightening answers that might come.

"Not going say hi?" Jess teased as Nick wasn't really in the mood for jokes. After the movie fiasco the previous night, Nick had had a hard time getting to sleep and for whatever reason, Schmidt came into his room at least twice early that morning asking which pose with the jacket was sexier before Nick booted him out, too lazy to suggest the douche bag jar even.

"Sorry Jess. Hello." Nick said halfheartedly.

"Turtle jar." Jess replied to Nick as he stood there dumbfounded.

"What are you talking about Jess?"

"You made that turtle face again and therefore must contribute to the turtle jar." Jess responded.

"There is no turtle jar Jess."

"There is now. At least a quarter please Nick." She said with puppy dog eyes. Nick gave in within seconds plopping a shiny quarter into its so far barren space.

"Are you happy Jess?" Nick replied.

"Yeah. I guess."

Nick sighed and took his food with him to his bedroom where he'd finish it peace.

Later that day, approximately noon to be exact, Winston returned from an interview, Schmidt stopped by for lunch and Nick was sitting gloomy as ever on the couch playing video games while listening to music when Jess walked in from outside with three new jars in her hands. One labeled 'Feeling jar'. The next, 'slob jar' and the last called the 'screaming jar'.

"Woh woh woh!" Schmidt said setting down his sandwich and getting up from the couch. "What are these?"

"Jars." Jess said smiling. "I love your douche bag jar and thought we could use more around here."

"Yeah, but the jar thing; it's our thing." Schmidt said blocking Jess's way to the kitchen.

Taking them from Jess and reading them over Schmidt suddenly became rather uninterested and shrugged. "Well. I guess they are fine."

"Great!" Jess said situating them beside the other two currently occupying part of the end table's space.

"You don't care about her jars?" Winston asked Schmidt while Nick continued to stay oblivious to the activity going on around him.

"Nah." Schmidt said. "I talk about my thoughts, right? I am not a slob! And I don't really scream often."

"Sure." Winston replied patting Schmidt on the back.

"How did your interview go?" Schmidt asked returning to his lunch

"Well, I have the small chat down, but I need to research these jobs more." Winston answered.

"Do you need any help?"

"Eh. Yeah. I probably do."

They both laughed as the two of them stood up and made their way to Winston's room leaving Jess and Nick together in the main living room.

Sitting down beside Nick, Jess took one of Nick's ear buds out of his ear and stuck it in her own.

"Hey-" Nick retorted ready to get mad when he turned slightly and the long row of jars came into view. "Uh. Jess?"

"Yep!" Jess said, as peppy as ever.

"What is with all the jars?"

"I bought them. We have to put money in them when we each do something that relates to them. Like if you hide what you are feeling from the group; that's a quarter for the 'feeling jar' and if you decide to not do laundry for the week; that's a quarter for the 'slob jar'."

"Jess!" Nick said grabbing both her shoulders. "That's ridiculous!"

"That's a quarter for the scre-" Jess was cut off as Nick stood up with arms above his head. "We have one jar; the douche bag jar. That's it! Okay Jess?"

Jess didn't have enough time to answer before Nick started up again yelling from the top of his lungs. "What are all of these jess?" Nick began reading them off out loud leaving barely a pause in between each one. "They are all for me! What is with that anyway! You don't see me making an 'annoying jar' or a 'singing about daily life jar' or a 'quirky jar' do you?"

Jess was silent as her eyes averted to the 'screaming jar' multiple times, cringing often. When Nick had finished his rant, Jess sat silently as if about to cry.

"Oh god! Don't cry Jess!" Nick thought back to when Jess watched _Dirty Dancing _millions of times and twitched in opposition.

"Am I really that annoying?" Jess asked between sobs as the water works started.

"No. No." Nick soothed sitting down beside her and pulling her into a semi awkward hug as she blew her nose on his hoodie.

"I just really like singing." She continued speaking while half of her mouth was covered by his neck.

"Uh huh." Nick said hoping she would just stop talking now and accept the affection before it ended.

Finally Jess shut up and returned the hug before releasing after the tears had stopped and Nick's hoodie was soiled.

Nick frowned slightly at the dampness on his clothing before smiling up at Jess and putting a quarter in the 'Turtle jar' causing Jess to laugh lightly.

From the other room Winston and Schmidt had made their way around the corner and were watching the two closely. "He really does make that angry turtle face sometimes." Winston said to Schmidt who nodded in agreement.

"That must be like five dollars by now for the screaming jar too."


End file.
